I want to show you a section from Six-String Samurai.
First though, I tell you what: it’s rare to watch a martial arts flick and say to your sweetie “Hey, that mook*.. He’s pretty funny. He’s pretty good”. But once in a blue moon it happens, and on the second night of that moon maybe youtube will offer up an exhibition of that one mook’s skills at the end of the film**, and maybe you’ll follow the trail to IMDB and see he starred in what looks like a direct transcription of your jive. Maybe it takes three or so years for said sweetie to receive a German-edition DVD for Christmas, cos that’s the only kind available anywhere it seems. Maybe it’s freakin’ super, only lying by omission about the apparently absolute wasteland of influential female musicians*** in 20th Century America.
But I caint hatecha, SSS, because this scene; first I was like ‘wut’ until later when I noticed I was imposssibly impressed with the brazen brazen stone cold brass rubbing up against the camera here. Let’s watch.
Our Buddy’s in a bar and some lady’s smiling real at him, which is nice. You’re rooting for her, right? Someone isn’t-
A smart woman knows her goals and approaches them, I know that and I admire it in practise.
I also admire
Innovative use of bubble-gum
Like oh no, oh noooo
But uhuh! Uhuh.
Gum on the gee-tar?
I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sex scene that’s character-building****. Let alone one set in a probably-brothel (my tropey senses were tingling). That’s a far-out assertion to make but I’m going for it, I don’t think I ever have. Bar: this one. Like I know he’s a purposefully rough-drawn archetype so go ahead and roll your eyes about how he’s not supposed to be socially comprehensible, but– filmmaker! You’ve gotta balance that with the reality of people. You can almost guarantee your audience will be made of them, see.
The dude just LIES there, no help at all, and I get to thinking about one of my favourite topics which is what if all cool people are just terrible at being alive?
Lone wanderer, “Samurai”, dead-cool strumming killer who walks alone and does everything he can to (safely, he guesses) get rid of the kid who tags along without permission. Talks in fluent (ha) Eastwood, murders guys all the time. And then a fly-catching Cheerleader sticks gum to his face and.. he just isn’t able to navigate that motionous ocean? HE CAN’T TALK TO GIRLS YOU GUYS. He is unable.
It’s not stupid-humour awkward, which is a mercy.
It’s just huuuuuuuumanising.
For serious, reader. That Cheerleader is 2013 template for the parts of me to which she applies.
Iiiiii– I love gum!!
**The Inspector Wears Skirts
***Or ‘female music styles’ or wharreva?
**** Not true: JCVD dual-role vehicle Replicant: innocent clone of serial-killer newly released into the Real World attempts to rape prostitute after she mistakes him for a customer and arouses him – he has not experienced erections before. He stops after she yells and struggles, and is real sorry. This is a well-meaning but v shady example so I struck it from the list.
Cheerleader played by Rebecca Morse!